The Quotable Floyd, part VI

I can’t tell you how much I love quoting Floyd. He’s witty. He’s real. He’s wise. And often, he’s witty, real, and wise all at once. This semester, we featured the music of British organist, choral director, and composer, Paul Ayres. In honor of Floyd’s retirement, we also commissioned a three-movement piece by Mr. Ayres. It was a fascinating and thrilling process, start to finish. The commissioned piece, The Harmony of Heaven and Earth, which I will write about on its own merit in the future, gave fuel to the Quote Machine.

If you’ve missed them in the past, please go back and read our Floyd quotes from previous semesters.

And now, without further adieu, I give you, once again, the Quotable Floyd, Paul Ayres edition:

  • There will be instances of choral collision.
  • Just smile and put air in the room and sing what you can.
  • You’re not paid by the note.
  • Maybe I should take you higher in warm-up. That’s what you call a choral threat.
  • The song is not over until silence fills the space.
  • We could do that. Or we could do that. We’ve gotta discover it. We’re excavating.
  • Floyd: And that’s just 3 bars!  Annette: We just don’t know which 3.
  • As you can see, [Paul] loves rhythmic displacement.
  • Don’t breathe, by the way.
  • [Paul] completely obliterated the downbeat.
  • If you want to see me make a mistake, then watch closely!
  • It doesn’t have chord changes so much as it has rhythmic energy.
  • Do your feelingful singing there.
  • If you sing the right vowel, the sun will shine down upon your face.
  • It’s too many dissonances in a row to analyze.
  • Feel a gentle alto arrival.
  • Ha! You thought you were gonna be in a key, didn’t you?
  • Let’s have a little Creative Responsibility. If you don’t have a note, don’t sing it
  • Get thee behind me, piano.
  • You’re not getting paid by the note.
  • Middle C is a terrible note; I’d like to ban it sometimes.
  • There aint’ no pitch there.
  • Dissonance leads to consonance, so it must be a whale of a consonance!
  • Now we’ve gotta sing with the guys from some other harmonic planet.
  • It’s a real dangerous thought—to think that a choir knows something too soon.
  • We’re gonna do this in tempo. No? I hear the sound of terrified silence.
  • If it sounds wrong, don’t assume it’s wrong. If it sounds right, don’t assume it’s right.
  • I recommend breathing.
  • Don’t wait for me to cue you if I’m wrong.
  • I shall offer you the beat.
  • I’m gonna have to do a standard illegible 7-beat.
  • Keep doing that! The ladies like that!
  • I’m trying to make it so weird that when we get it right, it’ll seem normal.
  • Yanno, I really do need to pay attention.
  • We’ve gotta run you into the G#.
  • I hear the sound of stunned silence.
  • I like breath in general.
  • You don’t typically see a beat going that way. It’s not normal. That’s okay—neither am I.
  • When we do slow, you shouldn’t practice late.
  • Everything we do is a release. It’s a preparation. If you release early, you will force the next thing. If you’re late, you’ll miss it.
  • It will be logical. Trust me.
  • The men need a pattern upon which to depend.
  • I have no idea what I’m talking about.
  • By itself, it seems deliciously easy.
  • I need to stop making noise, cause I can’t hear you.
  • This is gonna be a whole lot easier if you don’t read music.
  • I may not be exactly metrically perfect…but don’t tell anybody.
  • Oh, it’s good to learn the right way to do things.
  • I wish you were making the same error every time. That’d be easy.
  • That’s what rehearsal is for—to be out of sync once in awhile.
  • Don’t speed up to make up.
  • Sing only with the stick.
  • I’m so wrong, I’m amazed.
  • You’re lucky—you get me!
  • If you don’t write it, it goes away.
  • I’ve never seen music where I could violate it so thoroughly.
  • Be fearless in your breath and attack.
  • We’re gonna make all the music. We may not get it right, but we’re gonna make all the music.
  • Arrr? This is not “Sing Like A Pirate” day!
  • It’s only two beats in that flavor.
  • Rather than ‘and,’ I’d like you to have ‘and.’ Make a symbol for that.
  • There are three levels to conduct, and I only have two hands. I’ll have to roll my eyes or something.

Thanks for reading, my friends!

Pax Domini,

Sarah

The Quotable Floyd, part V

Well, my dears, it’s time again for the best part of the choral post-season: Quotes! As I’ve said in the past, I love quoting Floyd. He’s so funny. More than this, however, I find his words sage and witty, pertaining both to music and to life. Now as we near Floyd’s final (full) retirement, I cherish these quips as memories. What a blessing it has been to learn and sing under his direction!

This time around, I’ve listed the quotes under the song title where they were written into my music, and I offer them to you here in concert order. Enjoy!

Resonet in Laudibus
If you sing the way I conduct, you’ll sing a wonderful concert.
 Always keep your accompanist happy.
 Everybody sing everything.

O Magnum Mysterium
 If you wait too long, you’ll sound late; if you’re too quick, you’ll be early.
 Just go ahead and try it. You may actually get it right!
 Where in the heck do you put the pitch?
 There is still some residual pulsation going on.
 I’m just gonna give you a three-four ‘cause I have a three-four to spare.
 Those two notes are friends.
 Ascend, Altos! You may ascend!
 You may flip your R in that way if you like.
 Sopranos, would you sing “la la la la.” No, wait. That’s not it.
 If you were a medieval scholar, you’d be forbidden to write that interval because it would summon the devil.

Ave Maria – Stravinsky
 If you’re gonna be wrong, be wrong loudly.
 Once in awhile I may even cue your section.
 You may generally breathe; don’t specifically breathe.
 This is the hardest little piece I know.
 There’s our friend the G!
Lynne: Watch out for the nunc!

     Floyd: Notice the dynamics?
     Lorna: They’re easy to miss.
     Howard: Mine says ‘piano for rehearsal.’

Ave Maria – de Victoria
 Our tempo meter has gone pfffffft!
 It’s gotta be in tempo. You can’t just dribble off.
 If I looked up to find you, I…I wouldn’t!
 Take a breath on the rest; don’t rest on the breath. Ooooh! That was good! Write that down!
 After awhile, the bar lines don’t matter anymore.
 If there were a sharp in front of that G, it’d be the pitch you’re singing.
 You had a real nice G#. Please don’t do that again.
 Orapronobis fermata-bus.
 Nobis? No breath.

Ave Maria – Biebl
 We’ll follow the music and see what happens. Then again, maybe we won’t.
 Go ahead and sing your fullest forte.

Glory to God in the Highest
 Some of you head too much sloppy for supper.
 The grammar will defeat you.

Jazz Gloria
 We could throw a few more pitches in there. Just for fun.
 There’s where the pitch lives!
 There’s no chord upon which to sit.
 Eat enough to fortify your jazz chops.

     Beth: Were we low enough?
     Floyd: You’re fine. It’s just ugly.

     Nameless Alto: We can’t see you.
     Floyd: Why do you want to see me? You don’t watch anyway.

One, two, three, four…twelve…thirteen…square root of eight…
 There’s some magical musical mysticism going on here.
 I don’t know what I was doing; I was improvising.
 I can’t tell what’s coming out of my mouth sometimes.
 You could, without knowing it, tripletize the sixteenth note.
 Swing: That’s not notated; it’s just felt.
 There’s no rushing in Jazz Land.
 It’s just here and there and back again.
 We’ve got two Jesus Christs, and then Jesus Christ followed by the Holy Spirit—which is very important, theologically.
 Don’t think of it as a measure. Think of it as a series of notes upon which I will pounce.
 No matter what happens—SING.
 Don’t think in rhythm.
 The wrong note at the right time equals music. The right note at the wrong time equals noise.
 Find your seats and put them in your chairs.

Christmas Day
 Make them up. (In reference to the words.)
 I bet I can unlegatoize you.
 I will shoot a cue to you that you can’t miss!
 I’m not in the right key, but who cares?
 You’ve got a rhythm to wait in expectation of.
 You’ll have a rhythmic moment right there. It’ll be short, but you’ll have it.
 The minute the tongue touches the teeth, cut it off.
 At this point we have a surprising harmonic move. It always comes at a page turn.
 I would never look down on good music!
 What you just did—write that in.
 If you’ve got the notes, I’m not gonna stop you.
 Relax. Relax. Blalalalala. Blalalalalala.

Fortify your jazz chops. Hahahaha. I want that on a bumper sticker. Don’t forget to go back and read the quotes one, two, three, and four. :)

Pax Christi, friends!

Sar

The Quotable Floyd, part IV

Well, friends–here we are, one week post concert, and it is quote time. As always, I would encourage you to go back and read The Quoteable Floyd from previous semesters (I, II, and III), as I always do. The truth is that I’m a quote junky, and Floyd is ridiculously quotable. He can’t help himself. He teeters on a fencepost between incredibly wise and hilarious.

So without further adieu, I give you The Quotable Floyd. Spring, 2014.

From the Mozart…
Long notes should not be crescendoed. I know for a long time that was Choral Gospel, but don’t do it.

I like when Mozart is irritating and brilliant at the same time.

We won’t go allegro con spirito; we’ll go allegro breathe-a-lot-o.

It’s very important that it be unmushed.

When you get to the second note, just shake a little.

That’s a G! Good for you!

In the orchestra, you are the trombones!

Breathe in exact tempo.

Choral music is a constant stream of cues.

If you don’t do it well, it’ll sound like you did it well.

It’s almost as if Mozart said, “What are the notes we can leave out? Give them to the Altos!”

Altos, that’s not a melody; that’s an accompaniment.

We are the choir that sings “Ni.”

Keep it bouncy.

Try it and see if it fits.

The third pasus has a little Barbershop in it!

Those are rhythmic eruptions.

Only sing a normal sound.

It’s a G-sharp, but it’s spelled with an A-flat.

This time, make different mistakes.

From the Faure…
That “L” was better. We lost a couple of pitches along the way, but the “L” was better.

I don’t want that word in the room. [I think the word was “in,” which, of course, is not pronounced the same in English as in Latin.]

You’ve got the note–it’s right in your voice.

Don’t grab it between the bars.

It’s got to be round without any edges to it.

Oh! Some of you noted the dynamics!

When you see an Amen, slow down.

If you like accidentals, you’re going to love this piece.

Don’t miss your “us.”

And suddenly, BOOM–there you are!

And out of nothing comes a sudden noise.

Try less hard in the fast department. Try less fast.

There are times in choir when you should not search for an answer.

If you don’t do it, it won’t do what it needs to do musically.

The piano is moving some other melody. Don’t go with it.

Let the dot step back for a moment.

We don’t want a big hole at that point.

Make sure your air is expelled.

Mark that in: Sing real purty there.

And, as an added bonus, I give you the final pre-concert quote:

If I make a booboo, make it right along with me; it’ll sound like it’s supposed to be.

Pax, friends!

The Quotable Floyd, part III

Well, friends, I’ve avoided my blog for several weeks now; and would be content to keep avoiding it, were it not for the incredibly quotable Floyd. I simply cannot resist sharing this semester’s quotes from Choral Society. As always, I do promise to share my thoughts about the concert weekend at another time, and I do encourage you to go back and read Floyd’s Quotes, part I and part II. Without further adieu, I give you the Fall 2013 Floyd Quotes.

This must be good! I have a power point clicker!

They look good. The Choir In My Head sings them really well.

Tenors, if it’s too low, just look like you’re humming.

No tongue lifts.

Relax the collision.

6/8 is a rhythm pit.

I heard s-words.

11/8 — it’s slowing down; who cares how many beats there are? Don’t count.

We’re going to fermataize.

You’ve gotta breathe sooner than you must for life.

If you can’t be forgiven in a choir, there’s no forgiveness for you.

O come, all ye faithful, lalalalala, Amen. That’s the Reader’s Digest version.

Sing in English or Latin as you wish.

There should be a fermata. If you keep your eyes open, I’ll actually show it to you.

I have nightmares about 6/8 carols.

I’m going to do the music there, not the notes.

Thank you for being wrong with me in unison.

You’re different from everyone else. But you’re Altos. That explains everything.

Oh my gosh! I thought that would be pretty! It is!

I wrote down “slower.” I hope this is the slower I meant.

I release you from any note-reading responsibilities.

You must fight for your right to sing C.

Virgin Mary had a baby boy? Have the boy later.

You’re still trying to read the notes, aren’t you? Stop that.

Please make sure your “w” has a pitch.

Big space. Big open hole. Look through there before you go on.

Take your legato engine and stop it.

It’s a vowelless sound.

We are the singers who sing “duh.”

Relax the Men.

Hum in Polish.

I will not do the proper tempo, apparently.

About 80% of this piece is entirely logical.

There’s no way I’m going to conduct this one steady. Completely not steady.

I think I will always conduct 8th notes. Except when I don’t.

I may not do what you think I’m going to do.

Do more like you did before, but not quite.

The Choir In My Head has perfect legato.

A comma isn’t a comma unless I say it is a comma.

Make it sound important.

I’m gonna sleep on my tempo.

I recommend more air. At every moment.

I wish I knew what I was doing.

Allegretto? I don’t think so. For reading, we’re going to do slow-o.

Those chords are so interesting. Why should we go through them at 40 miles per hour?

I’m gonna be releasing some energy right there.

You’re all by yourself. Except when you split. Then you’re yourself and a half.

Kris: We’re doing so well they shut the door.

Nameless Soprano: Can we keep singing this til we get to Jesus?

Nameless Choir Member: Where are we not supposed to breathe?  Floyd: Anywhere.

Wow! I didn’t realize Floyd gave me so many quotes this semester. It sure was fun! If you live in the Marquette area, please join us for Spring rehearsals. Contact me for details. :)

Pax Christi.

Sarah