Where’s my heart?
I don’t know. I honestly don’t know, folks. I feel so beaten down right now. Every time I think I am getting past the crap, a new wave of crap hits. I am tired. I am discouraged. But since I can make no sense of these battles individually (and it would be both inappropriate and inexcusable to discuss them in this public forum), I thought perhaps the best way to confess to them tonight would be to give you a list of words.You don’t have to understand what is going on with each of them as it pertains to my life (and you won’t…you’ll try, but you won’t). I simply ask you to pray. If you read this, pray. Ask God to meet me in these battles and speak truth and hope to my soul.
cake & family
adoption & abortion
strings & compassion
ishmael & elsie
piper & camels
dew & rhyme
lump & pain
honesty, honesty, honesty
silence
love
and insignificance
barefooted semmie 
I am tired. I am discouraged.
Ah, the nasty “D“ word
You probably feel alone as well, Sarah. We all have been there for a season, but it will not be forever.
Therefore: “Consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. You have not yet resisted to bloodshed, striving against sin. No chastening (if that is what it is) seems to be joyful for the present, but painful; nevertheless, afterward it yields the peaceable fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it. Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord…”
He will always be there for you, Sarah, in spite of how you feel. You are NEVER alone. Our self perception is faulty at best, so lift up your tired hands, strengthen your trembling knees, and keep walking on straight paths…
Thank you, Dave. I needed to hear this message, and I accept it with hope.
“The LORD bless you and keep you; The LORD make His face shine upon you, And be gracious to you; The LORD lift up His countenance upon you, And give you peace.” What more could we ask of Him, Sarah?
Absolutely nothing, Dave–we could ask absolutely nothing more of Him. These are enormous (unfathomable, really) blessings.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth.”
The simple truth of HIS WORD fills my heart and soul. Nothing else is of any lasting significance. It astonishes me it took 73 years to get here…
Never forget that satan is angry at having lost and will continue to seek revenge on HIS Children – it never stops until GLORY – so fight the good fight…
There must be something in the air, or perhaps some unknown radiation coming down upon us, for I have been feeling the “crap” hitting me lately. I’m trying to give it over to the Lord, but I keep bringing it back. In His time all things will come to fruition, so I find I must be patient for the inevitable to occur, and let HIm take care of whatever “crap” comes my way.
I’ll be praying for you, as always!
Shalom!!!
Steve
Steve, I will be praying for you, also (as always!). But for encouragement, might I recommend reading Dave Wade’s remarks above? Very good words!
Pax, brother; Pax Christi.
Hey chica. I feel ya in my own way. These last couple of months have been rough. Just when I thought things were getting a little better something else came up and so on. Through it all I have been thankful for what I do have. I know I’m probably rambling and this may not mean much, but I love you. I’m so thankful that you are still a part of my life. *hugs*