What’s on my heart: June 24

Life is changing. Life is always changing. If your life isn’t changing, you ought to check for a pulse because you may just be dead. Life is constant change, constant recreation into something or another, constant instability. From that perspective, I always roll my eyes at myself when I say that things are “changing.” Of course they are changing. Duh. Nonetheless, some waves are more tumultuous than others and I’m not too proud to admit here on the wide-open interwebs that I am prone to sea sickness. So what is on my heart? What is changing? What’s on my mind? What waves am I riding?

  • As Jenn and I were out gallavanting yesterday, our discussion brought me to a very odd place. It caused me to reconsider the context of Becoming. The interplay between the two sisters has significantly more potential than I initially thought. There is an entire story of jealousy here that I have been too blind to see.  I am trying to adjust my thinking in this direction, but I confess that it makes me uneasy. Though it’s not perfect, I am comfortable with what I’ve been working with. To change things at this point is totally doable, but totally scary for me.
  • My Dell is being ridiculous. I don’t know if she’s coming or going. But…after much regret in thinking I’d lost everything, I was able to back up all of my files. Small mercies.
  • I miss Sanka. You know, I still come home and expect him to greet me at the door. I still drop a little cheese on the kitchen floor for him when I make lasagna (doh, seriously, and then I had to clean it up). Do I want a new dog? Of course. But I don’t. There will never be another Sanka, and every dog will fall short of his personality and loyalty.
  • I planted potatoes. Yeah, I don’t really know why. I’ve heard they are remarkably easy to grow, so we’ll see what happens. Tomatoes, beans, peas, green onions, raspberries are all growing. I’m hoping to get out to Ostanek’s and pick strawberries this week.
  • I bought a doll for my niece for her birthday. I have been crocheting some outfits for her. I’m very excited. I can hardly believe she will be 3 next month. I don’t think she’s too young to enjoy a doll.
  • I really need to get crackalacking on my Christmas projects. Ugh.
  • I went back to season 1 of NCIS. I haven’t started from the beginning in some time because, if you need to know the truth, I had seen Yankee White so many times in a row that I honestly thought I’d vomit if I saw it again. I am surprised to find that I’m enjoying the early episodes.
  • I painted my toenails red. Yep. No reason for it. Just felt like being bold.

Blessings, folks! I hope you’re doing something fun with your summer!


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2 Responses to What’s on my heart: June 24

  1. Steve says:

    Hi Sarah,

    You might start thinking along the line of “madness” for Kharana. I recommend Lady MacBeth as a model. Then, there is still the other example that I’ve already given you.

    I hope the story is coing along in other parts.

    We also had to put our Black Labador to sleep. The kids wanted to be there. She got to where she stand- her back legs and hips went total out. When our Golden Retriever got bone cancer in the hind quaters, I tried to sneak him down to the car while the kids were being pre-occupied. That was really sad because we had him since he was a pup. I held his head in my lap and comforted him. It was hard to keep a dry eye.

    We used to have a garden every year when I still lived at home. We also had several apple trees, all of which were gradually dying out.

    Red toenails! That’s cute. But don’t expect me to follow suit.



    • semmie says:

      I dunno…the red toenails gave me a little bit of extra confidence, I think. 🙂

      Kharana and Maella are unraveling in my mind as a different kinds of “broken,” which I didn’t intend. I initially wanted Kharana to simply be consumed with jealousy. I’m seeing now (which I should’ve realized from the start, but…better late than never) that jealousy is not an isolated feeling. It stems from insecurity and fear.

      I don’t want Kharana to be mad…not entirely. I like the idea of her being “consumed” with her jealousy, such that it drives her. Almost an obsession. Would you believe, though, that I’ve never read MacBeth? Perhaps I’ll take a peak. 🙂

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