What’s on my heart?
What’s on my heart.
What’s on my heart. Hrm.
So many things. Since it’s after midnight, I’ll try to keep it brief.
- Theology of Music. I really want to read this book by Jeremy Begbie. Really. How can I justify paying $21 for a book when my list of “to-reads” now exceeds the number of unmatched socks in my dresser? And how can I justify adding another book to the list when I have Wesley and Spurgeon still waiting on me? I need better habits about reading in general; I especially need better habits about reading books pertaining to Theology and Music (and even more, books about how those two things are related).
- My job is going well. I’m facing new–but certainly not unwelcome–challenges. I think I’m growing.
- My niece calls birds “butts.” I know that’s totally unimportant, but…it’s hilarious. Tweet! Tweet! Oh–it’s a butt!
- My sister-in-law (she who shall remain both nameless and H-less) completed her degree in Criminal Justice this past weekend. It was such an honor to be at her graduation and see her receive that degree. She has worked so hard, and I am immensely proud of her. You know, there are those people who don’t seem to realize how big their obstacles are–they just run and jump. They give it all they have. That’s her. I so admire that tenacity in her.
- My sister invited my mom and me to a Hymns Conference this summer. Uhm…a million times YES. I don’t know yet if I can get the time off of work or if I can even afford to go. It’s not super expensive–actually, it’s not expensive at all. It’s just a matter of figuring out whether I have the extra money. I need to have the extra money. Listen, folks, if I don’t invest in my obsession with hymns and theology…who will?
- I need to get cracking on my Christmas project. ARG. Can you say “you’re in WAY over your head, Sar”??? Yeah. I am.
- Grappling with the big issues facing our culture (don’t even want to acknowledge them for fear my blog will self-implode from everyone coming and telling me what to think). It just seems to me…we have to find better solutions. We have to dig deeper. We have to commit to honesty.
- Finally resigned myself to the fact that I’m not going to marry or have children. Is it a hard truth? Sure. But…perhaps it’s better to accept a hard truth, than to allow yourself the fantasy of denial. I don’t know. The sooner I accept it, the sooner I can get on with doing whatever it is God wants me to do. I’m tired of wasting time. I’m tired of feeling defined by this one area (or lack thereof) of my life.
- Still stuck on Chapter 5. Still struggling to write Kharana. She is tricky. I don’t like her. I don’t want her to behave the way I’m going to let her behave. I’m just not sure I can write it. Seriously considered axing her from page 1 and trying to write a story with no Kharana. Would it work? Absolutely not. We must have a Queen.
- I miss Jenn. I need to talk with Jenn.
There you have it. There’s what’s on my heart. Now…I’m going to pry my contacts from my dry, weary eyes, curl up under my rainbow quilt (thank you, Sissstor), and read one chapter (one…only one) of Tozer before I go to sleep.