Insomnia Diary: The World & Desires

2:36 A.M.

If you want something more out of life than the average American, it’s going to require more of you.

It may mean greater sacrifice.

It may mean more difficult decisions.

It may mean incredible standards.

It may mean biting your tongue.

It may mean saving more money.

It may mean forgiving those who don’t (or can’t) acknowledge they’ve hurt you.

It may mean turning off the internet.

It may mean trying something you’ve never dared to try.

It may mean giving some things away.

It may mean reading more; or sleeping less; or writing letters even when they are unanswered; or learning Hebrew; or learning to garden; or learning to swim; or losing weight; or getting your passport; or sponsoring a little boy or girl in another country; or committing more; or committing less; or re-establishing the idea of a Sabbath for your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health; or confessing sin; or (heaven forbid, but here I go…about to say it) fasting; or wearing second-hand jeans; or political activism; or honesty when honesty is difficult.

It may mean a lot of tears.

Only you can decide whether your desires, your dreams, your passions and convictions are worth so much trouble.

2:46 A.M.

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4 Responses to Insomnia Diary: The World & Desires

  1. Steve Ward says:


    Some of the things you’ve mentioned I have done or am already doing. I agree that fasting is a big step for many of us. I have, however, been able to not eat anything until I get home from work. I used to do this in college, but this older body may have problem with going “all the way” with fasting. This long break between rising in the morning and making it through the day I really don’t consider to be fasting, though. But I also save money by not having lunch or snacks. Oh, I did have one cough drop this morning. When my mind is busy, I can forget about food and not even feel hungry unless I think about it too much. Just mentioning that, now I’m getting a little hungry. Unless I black-out or something related to not taking in nourishment, I’ll probably keep at it. I can also loose some excess weigh, too.

    But, from a spiritual perspective, I have never actually taken that big step. But I most likely will at some future time.

    • semmie says:

      I think “that big step” is probably different for each of us, don’t you? This list really reflects my own challenges and convictions. I mentioned fasting specifically because it’s been a long time (too long) since I’ve fasted, and it occurred to me last night that if I am looking for an answer that isn’t obvious, I might need to look in a manner that is more focused on Christ and less focused on me (ie: fasting).

      Blessings to you, Steve. Keep dreaming, keep challenging yourself (and me!), and keep your eyes on Christ.


  2. Abby says:

    Excellent post, semmie!

    I think I know what my big step is. It involves breaking off an excellent friendship/working relationship with a boy by this certain time, for reasons that I won’t go into right now.

    • semmie says:

      Abby, it’s such a delight to see you again. 🙂 When I see your little heart in the sand av, my heart lifts.

      I will be praying for your strength and peace in this “big step.” Boys are tricky things…very tricky things. If you ever need to talk, you know how to find me.

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