What’s on my heart: July 08

Soooooo. Long week, yo. Just a few things worth mentioning to my faithful blog readers.

• Still no potatoes. Issokay. I have faith. And…Irish ancestry (thanks for the reminder, Steve).
• My strawberries are growing. I ate the first one today. It may’ve been a touch underripe (which just goes to prove my impatience), but it was still good!
• There are crows picking at my beans and raspberries. I’m not happy about it. :/ I’ve heard that jalapenos make a good spray…it’s not harmful, but they don’t like it. I’ve gotta try something; they’re driving me bonkers!
• Friday was my last day at Fountain Bismarck. I thought it would be more emotional than it was, but honestly, I was ready. I am very much at peace about my decision.
• I am anxious about starting my new job, but not nervous. Just anxious to get in there and get going. If you think of it, say a prayer for me tomorrow!
• I treated myself to two new outfits this weekend. I went to the mall on Saturday–which I haven’t done in, oh, ages–and shopped. All alone. It was wonderful.
• I attended a lecture at the public library on Saturday afternoon. The speaker was Dr. Russell Magnaghi from the local university, and the topic was Oral Histories. It was such an interesting lecture, and I learned so much! It really inspired me to incorporate Oral Histories into my family history.
• I sponsored a second child through Compassion International. Details to follow.
• I did something remarkably forward the other day. Something remarkably “me.” I haven’t done something like this in years. It is, so far, a rewarding feeling. We’ll see what becomes of it.

That’s all I’ve got for tonight. Blessings to all in the coming week.

Pax Christi.

Semmie.

What’s on my heart: July 1

Today begins a new month. There is much on my heart, as always. I will keep it brief tonight.

• I dreamed last night that I was getting married and my father was walking me down the aisle. It has left me unsettled and anxious, to be honest. I love my father. The relationship that we have has come from much effort and much grace on both our parts. But the idea of him walking me down the aisle is–to this day–both my greatest desire and my greatest fear. Hence, it has left me unsettled.
• My potatoes don’t appear to be growing. Yet. I know I need to be patience, but really–I’m eager to see some signs of growth. The raspberries and blueberries, on the other hand, appear to be doing well this year.
• I continue to receive hits on this blog from folks searching for a definition of Collective Salvation, as well as one or two hits from those who have criticized what I’ve had to say about it. It amazes me. I’ve written about it twice. Apparently, this idea is still very present in peoples’ minds.
• My intent is to journey south in a few weekends for a Family Reunion. I am very excited about visiting with my Aunts, whom I haven’t seen since my Grandma died a few summers ago. I suppose it is time to start thinking of questions to ask folks at the Reunion! I am in no way prepared for this shindig. But I will be!
• I begin a new job a week from tomorrow. I have very conflicting emotions about this transition, but I’ve no doubt that God is leading me out of my current work situation. I have loved it in many regards, but it’s time. We are headed in different directions, Fountain and I. My new endeavor is not a big company; it’s a small, local partnership. There are advantages and disadvantages of both, but I will be honest with you: I am really looking forward to having a weekend. Every weekend. This will allow a stability to my life (I think) that Fountain couldn’t. And…I think I will sleep better at night.
• Well. I didn’t get out to pick strawberries. And it seems…the pickings have been slim this year (quite literally, I’m afraid). Bummer! But…we still have lots of berries frozen from last year! I pulled some out today to thaw, and I’m going to try this recipe for Strawberry Shortcake Muffins. Woot! I’ll let you know how they turn out.
• I have two outfits completed for PollyEsther’s doll for her birthday. I am hoping to have another one, at least. I’m looking for a box that will fit the doll and outfits in it. I’m excited. I think Polly will like this gift!
• I need to work on pacing.
• Gabby Douglas! What a gal.  I really like her. Yo.
• Sorry. Pacing. I need to work on pacing, both in my writing and in my life. I am too impatient. I don’t like to hide things away and let them brew. I need to. I need to leave some things alone and let it play out naturally, instead of forcing some sort of revelation. Give it time, Sar!
• Bonnie wants me to buy a bicycle and go riding with her. What do you think?

That’s all I have for today, folks. I pray that you are blessed and finding fun ways to spend your summer!

Pax Christi.

Semmie.

What’s on my heart: June 24

Life is changing. Life is always changing. If your life isn’t changing, you ought to check for a pulse because you may just be dead. Life is constant change, constant recreation into something or another, constant instability. From that perspective, I always roll my eyes at myself when I say that things are “changing.” Of course they are changing. Duh. Nonetheless, some waves are more tumultuous than others and I’m not too proud to admit here on the wide-open interwebs that I am prone to sea sickness. So what is on my heart? What is changing? What’s on my mind? What waves am I riding?

• As Jenn and I were out gallavanting yesterday, our discussion brought me to a very odd place. It caused me to reconsider the context of Becoming. The interplay between the two sisters has significantly more potential than I initially thought. There is an entire story of jealousy here that I have been too blind to see.  I am trying to adjust my thinking in this direction, but I confess that it makes me uneasy. Though it’s not perfect, I am comfortable with what I’ve been working with. To change things at this point is totally doable, but totally scary for me.
• My Dell is being ridiculous. I don’t know if she’s coming or going. But…after much regret in thinking I’d lost everything, I was able to back up all of my files. Small mercies.
• I miss Sanka. You know, I still come home and expect him to greet me at the door. I still drop a little cheese on the kitchen floor for him when I make lasagna (doh, seriously, and then I had to clean it up). Do I want a new dog? Of course. But I don’t. There will never be another Sanka, and every dog will fall short of his personality and loyalty.
• I planted potatoes. Yeah, I don’t really know why. I’ve heard they are remarkably easy to grow, so we’ll see what happens. Tomatoes, beans, peas, green onions, raspberries are all growing. I’m hoping to get out to Ostanek’s and pick strawberries this week.
• I bought a doll for my niece for her birthday. I have been crocheting some outfits for her. I’m very excited. I can hardly believe she will be 3 next month. I don’t think she’s too young to enjoy a doll.
• I really need to get crackalacking on my Christmas projects. Ugh.
• I went back to season 1 of NCIS. I haven’t started from the beginning in some time because, if you need to know the truth, I had seen Yankee White so many times in a row that I honestly thought I’d vomit if I saw it again. I am surprised to find that I’m enjoying the early episodes.
• I painted my toenails red. Yep. No reason for it. Just felt like being bold.

Blessings, folks! I hope you’re doing something fun with your summer!

Sarah

What’s on my heart: June 10

What’s on my heart today?

My heart is stretched thin this morning, from the back yard to Black Rocks, from morning-glories to Compassion International, from Sanka and Lake Superior to Kharana and New Praet. My heart is stretched thin.

In a good way.

• Kharana still eludes me. I’m not sure why I’m struggling with it. Perhaps it’s because I’ve spent more time thinking and struggling internally with her character than I’ve actually spent writing her. Get it on paper, Sar. Edit later.
• Christian publishing is (I think) something of a problem. Much of what’s published as “christian fiction” today is flat. I mean no disrespect, because I have been a consumer of Christian Fiction and I have a lot of respect for Christian authors. It just seems like there’s a lot of space in between Christian markets and non-Christian markets, where a lot of authors are being swallowed up by the rigmarole of being “unpublishable” on account of being “too Christian” or “not Christian enough.”
• I’m going to plant a morning-glory around our street sign. Yeah. Or a clematis. Not sure which, yet.
• While looking for the brush to clean my bird feeder, I found Sanka’s old collar in the garage. It hit me hard. I miss my puppy. My Boo. It’s not normal; it can’t be normal to miss a dog so much. But I do. This is the time of year that I normally spent off gallivanting with my dog. Even last year, as his health was deteriorating fast, I was able to lift him in and out of the truck a few times and get him to the Lake. I miss him.
• I need to blog more. I need to write more. I need to give more ink to my musings. I need to crit something.
• I need to get crack-a-lacking on my Christmas projects, of which I’ve been blessed with a marvelous idea (details withheld for gifting purposes).
• I am not particularly unhappy at my job. I like what I do. I like the people I work with. I adore my customers. And I think I’m fairly good at my job. However, I’m a little disheartened by the company. It seems like those who do the most work get the shaft; those who do the least, get promotions. I’m knocking on a few doors just to keep my employment options open, but I’m not desparately seeking to leave. We’ll see.
• June Lyrids! Oh man. I can’t wait.
• You know, speaking of Christian publishing, I think I have a piece by C. S. Lewis about Christian Literature that I never read. I should do that this afternoon.
• And…in the spirit of Genealogy, I offer a photo of my Grandmother’s parents, Augusta and Albert Wilber:

Blessings on you and yours!

semmie

The Child You Never Knew I Had

Did you know that I sponsor a child through Compassion International?

You may. You may not. It’s not something I speak about often because–if you want the truth–I think our 21st Century Christianity is a bit misguided about what it means to love and give and serve. I don’t do it for recognition; I don’t do it for the tax break; I don’t do it to appease my conscience or because it’s what “good Christians” do.

When I first began my sponsorship, it was an act of thanksgiving. I was driving in my truck, thanking God for a blessing He brought into my life (ironically, the blessing was temporary and is long gone) and that song came on the radio: Every blessing You pour out I’ll turn back to praise. It wasn’t something I prayed about, contemplated, searched…I just decided that I was going to take God’s blessing to me and bless someone else with it–not for feeling good about myself, not for feeling less guilty about being a wealthy (comparatively) American, not with the expectation of praise or having built character or even a jewel in my crown. I just wanted to take the blessing God had given to me and return it to Him in a very tangible way, not with words and ideas, but with action and commitment.

And I wanted to do so privately. You know? I mean…I tithe, and I give…but this was different. I really just didn’t want people to know that I was sponsoring a child. It’s been several years…and there’s still a part of me that doesn’t want you to know about my child. But. One of my customers today mentioned (quite out of the blue) that he and his wife just sponsored a boy from–guess where?–the same country as my boy! And once we started talking, I didn’t want to stop.

Today, in light of this connection with my customer, I’m convicted by Compassion’s blog:

Tell your sponsorship stories.
When people are important to you, you talk about them.

Emphasis mine.

Yeah.

So I’m telling you today. I sponsor a boy from Burkina Faso. His name is Joseph. He likes to play soccer with his friends, chase his chicken, and play with his baby sister. He makes decent grades. He works hard. He planted a tree, and it died. I just received a thank-you letter and photo from him for a birthday gift I sent.

I love his letters.

I love his drawings.

I love that when I send him stickers, he writes back and puts some of them on the letter.

And I just love his smile.

And his heart. He prays for me. Did you know that? He prays for me.

Well. Now you know it. I have a child named Joseph. As a single Christian woman with no biological children of her own, I could not have asked for a greater blessing. Isn’t that funny? Isn’t that just like God? What began as me trying to turn a blessing back to God, has become one of the greatest (if not the greatest) blessings of my life.

I know you’ll never read this, Joe, but I also know that you know what I’m about to say is true: I love you, kid!