Songwriting & Daisies

What can I tell you?

I have fallen. Hard.

In an awkward conversation about jealousy (I won’t bore you with the details), a friend recently said to me, “I think you should keep writing songs.” How frustrating. How simple. How frustratingly simple.

How comforting!

I’m not sure what changed in my spirit when I read those words, but I felt as if a pile of dynamite was ignited in my soul. Suddenly, everything is alive.

And it is finding its place in my life again, the daily desire to simply pick up my guitar, to sing something–anything, to work on a new picking method, to clean my guitar, to write a song. All of these things are drawing me, day after day.

There is so much unfinished business. I have a binder of unfinished business on my bookshelf. It is disheveled and not worth much, I’m sure–but I find myself determined to go back and piece them together. There are songs there, on the random papers of my past.

And there are songs in the present. There are songs about new friends, old friends, changes in life, hugs…there are songs written, and songs to be written. I can’t get enough of it.

It’s a songwriting feast. I haven’t written like this in years. I thought…I thought it was gone. I thought I had lost “it.” I thought after my enormous life (and faith) blunders that God had taken my love, my passion, my calling (if that’s what you want to call it) and given it to someone more worthy.

The truth is, none of us are worthy. God doesn’t bless us because we are good, or because we deserve it. He blesses us because it is in His nature to do so–because He cherishes us, and He knows how to delight us. His delight is in us, and when we are delighted, I believe it delights Him. Just like a lover, who brings a daisy to his beloved, simply because he knows it will make her smile and exclaim at its beauty. Music is the daisy God gives me.

God is not slow with us. Sometimes we think that we’ve forfeited His blessings, His gifts. I’m not sure if that’s even possible, folks. I don’t know. Perhaps all this time, God has been bringing me daisies, and I’ve been simply too preoccupied to notice (or care). Or maybe He allows me a time without daisies so that I will remember the delight of them, and not simply fall into a routine of saying, “Oh, how lovely.”

What I do know is that He gives us our passions and talents for a reason. And He brings them to life if we will stop avoiding them.

How about you? What are you avoiding?

Pax,
Sar

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4 thoughts on “Songwriting & Daisies

  1. Maybe when I read this I see myself in similar situations. The one thing I can attest to is under the most pressure comes the most raw results. We try to put on the right face in front of the right people for the right time only to find we are not giving our best or being honest to those same people. That doesn’t mean you become a raving lunatic but people appreciate real in a world where everything is photoshopped over.

    As much as this sucks right now, and it probably does, God tends to open up the right door for that right time, even if going through the door might present more pressure (it usually does).

    So, just some thoughts.

    • Raw. That’s a good word.

      I definitely think there was a time, a phase, where I was trying so hard to make music work–to write the songs that others wanted me to write, to play the types of chord progressions people were comfortable with, to not say anything lyrically questionable. It saddens me in retrospect, because–as you say–I was not “giving my best or being honest.”

      Why God is birthing new songs in me, I don’t know–except that maybe He simply wants me to enjoy music. I certainly have no desire to perform (I used to, but that is a long faded desire). Songwriting is, to be honest, a small piece of the music puzzle that is my life. I’d love to talk more about that with you, Ben, because I think you might have just the right amount of irreverence to discuss something so…odd. Soon…we have to find coffee. Will you let me know when you get settled at your new locale? You’ll be two hours from my brother…we can make it work.

      As always, Ben…I appreciate your thoughts and your challenges. More than anything, I appreciate you reading and sharing–it is good to be heard sometimes.

      Pax,
      Sar

  2. “Why God is birthing new songs in me, I don’t know–except that maybe He simply wants me to enjoy music.” A thought: maybe He is birthing so that He can have the first real conversation with you in a long time….I have found my truest conversations with Him are laced with profanities, shouting, tears and anything that doesn’t look like a Psalm, yet I feel so unburdened after.

    Yay, two hours away. Very doable. Can’t wait.

  3. Hi Sarah,

    I think it’s great that you are getting energized to write songs. Even in the midst of my own difficulties, I am trying to get things rolling again in the area of music as well as in the other areas. Having two teenagers is no help, but I’m learning to ignore (or at least block it all out) and maybe by November I might even attempt the NaNoWriMo thing again.

    You GO, girl!!!

    Shalom!!!

    Steve

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