A Year

It’s important to look back at where you’ve been so you can clearly see where you’re going. Right? So today, I want to hear from you. Where have you been in the last year? How has your life changed? What have you been doing?

One year ago (almost to the day), I gave my resignation at a job I loved. I remember the struggle I went through in making my decision as to whether I should close the door on that phase of my life or keep battling the same petty things that were getting under my skin. Once I made the decision, I was at peace. It was hard, to be sure. If you want to know the truth of it, I still miss that job, the staff, my boss, the owners, the customers, the numbers, the numbers, the numbers. I don’t regret the decision, because we all knew that something had to change. But I do miss it sometimes.

For the first month or so afterward, I was content to just rest. But soon, as jobs became harder and harder to come by, I started to panic a bit. It has been a difficult year for me in this regard. I’ve had to trust God in ways that I thought I was “beyond” (me and my great faith, right? Ha!); I’ve had to trust my family and friends in ways that I was entirely not comfortable with; I’ve had to change my priorities, change my manner of serving others, change my expectations. It’s been hard. It’s been so hard.

I don’t like depending on others, if you must know the truth of it. I would rather be the person that others can depend upon. It has been a real challenge for me to swallow my pride and appreciate those who’ve helped me and who’ve encouraged me.

It wasn’t until a few months ago that I began to suspect something. Don’t read this the wrong way, because I truly loved my former job; but after working so hard, after putting so much into that business, I was exhausted beyond words. It hadn’t occurred to me that perhaps God was giving me this time “off” from working, to rest, to rejuvenate, to refocus and re-prioritize. Perhaps God wanted me to rest so I would be ready for whatever was “next.”

Because let’s face it, folks–if there’s one thing for certain in this life, it’s that nothing stays the same. What a beautiful thing. It is both sobering and encouraging at the same time; that whatever your lot in life, you should not think yourself immune to change, whether for good or ill. Are you single? Are you unemployed? Are you sick? Are you healthy? Are you happy with your job? Do you have a great relationship with your spouse? These things change daily. Don’t get too comfortable with the idea of your life as any one thing. Our lives, I think, are defined by what we do and how we live during these times, during these changes.

So what is next for me? My kneejerk response is to say, “I’ve no idea,” but that would be dishonest. I have an idea. I have a very good idea. But…I’m guarding my heart and my words. I’ll keep you posted along the way. :)

In the meantime, I have Christmas gifts to finish! Ooooooh, felting! Crafting! Dipping pretzels in chocolate-ing! Here I come! Woot!

Pax Christi.

Sar

About these ads

One thought on “A Year

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s